A Touching Letter from Africa

Rachel and I have been blessed to be able to stay in such close communication with many friends and family members from South Africa. It’s not uncommon for one of our cell phones to ring, and after looking at the incoming call, for us to smile at one another in saying, “it’s Africa!” Rachel has received so many letters from the girls that participated in her Palala Girls Club, who have now moved on to secondary school. Many have simply called to share the exciting news that they have passed yet another grade, or to even ask if we have received their letter. Just the other day I heard Rachel speaking Sepedi as I was working on some homework … sure enough, she was on the phone with Mma Kgonyane followed by Matome. Mma carried on a good 10 minute conversation with Koketso (Rachel) even though I’m sure there was some difficulty on both ends in understanding what was being said. It didn’t matter though – they simply loved hearing each other’s voices.

Unfortunately not all the news we get is comforting and read with smiles upon our faces. Rachel recently received a letter from one of her brightest girls from the Palala Girls Club. For the first time, this young lady opened up to Rachel in a way she never has before … after knowing her in the village for two years and being away for over a year already. The letter has left incredibly sorrow in our hearts as we think of those children we left behind in Africa. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by when we don’t wish we could be back over there. Here’s what she had to say:

“There are things that I haven’t told anyone before even both of you face to face who I really am and how I live. I live under abusive father, he abuses us emotionally. These will come as a suprise or a lie to you but it is true. I remember when I was about four or five years old, my father was beating Ma with a burning fire-wood on head (hair) and it was night and there was no road lights, even electricity where we live and we were running we didn’t know where to go then we went to Sethebe’s family and my mother nearly died. When my father always come home it is whether day or night, drunk or sober, we don’t sit with him, watch TV together. My brothers and sisters, we all grew up my Pa abusing us. When he is drunk sometimes he insults Ma in front of us calling all my Ma private parts, they fight, argue about things that don’t even exist he says Ma have an affair and that is not true. Ma actually likes to laugh. She don’t let her personal issues to ruin her happinnes especially with things that exist. My mother is a strong woman all these years. In 2006, Pa was not drunk and he locked Ma in their bedroom then he took a whip and there he is beating Ma and Ma got out of the room through a window. My second born brother came home running to rescue Ma then mother was in nextdoor. Brother called the police to arrest Pa and they didn’t arrest him they gave mother a protection order. The following day father kicked brother out of the house and my brother went to grandparents’ (mom’s parents) home and he stayed there and still now. Everytime when my brother come to apologise my father doesn’t exept his apologies but now it looks like Pa wants to forgive him and I wish we could be a family again. We don’t find happinnes, laughter and joyous when my father is around wether he is drunk or sober. My nextdoor’s family is a happy family and their father drinks alcohol but he don’t do stupid, childish things wether he is drunk or sober they are always happy and I wish my family could be like them infact, more than them. When I always look to that family my heart is hurting because my family is not always happy but IN GOD I TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT HE WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING GET BACK TO NORMAL! EVERYTHING TO HIM IS POSSIBLE AND I KNOW HE WILL MAKE A WAY.

“When you were in South Africa, I was having fun, joy, laughter and happines being with you it realised me that everything has its own time and everytime when I’m with both of you I found releave I didn’t want to think about what is happinning at home at all. That was the especial moments that I won’t forget in my entire life. I KNOW YOU WILL BE WONDERFUL PARENTS ONCE YOU HAVE CHILDREN!!

“When you write a letter to me don’t mention the word “abuse” because my sisters like to be secretive and my mother don’t like her private life to be known please because they sometimes read my letters and they get angry easily please!!”

I know it took a great deal of courage for this young lady to write such a letter. I also know that she misses Rachel dearly. I am so proud of my wife and the influence she had with the young women in Kgobagodimo. We literally feel as though we’re away from our own children sometimes. We keep telling ourselves that what we are doing now is a “means” to returning to such a place, but it’s so hard in the moment when we hear this kind of story.

Lord, please watch over these dear children. Give them the strength and courage to make it through each new day. Bring joy to their lives and give them renewing evidence of your unconditional love for them. In the same breath, let us be thankful for the smiles we shared together and the memories that will last a lifetime.